Time sensitive.

4 09 2015

When did my life become so time sensitive? When? when? quick, quick, answer me!

Yeah, a bit like that. I’m going to keep this brief, because it might just cross the border and become a personal whinge. There is very little place in the world today – with all the trouble and strife, hate and hardship – for languishing in self-absorbed doldrums, but the issue of time sensitivity ranks high on societies’ ills, so I’m going to allow myself this small space to (briefly) talk about it.

You see, every task I take on these days has either to be done within a certain time scale or is pressured due to the potential worsening of outcomes tick by tock. I awake and start running (more or less) and from the opening of my eyes, everything has to be completed by a certain time or else something will be delayed and there be dragons. I eat my breakfast and drink my coffee while commuting and then there is the desperate rush to get all the days tasks done within the day. No time to dwell. No time to think, at least in any appreciably expansive way. By the time I am home, I am short on energy and frazzled due to the mental and emotional focus it takes to not make mistakes in a high-stakes poker game of a job and, by then, time is already marching on – I need to be asleep – I will be woken up soon and I need to be on my game tomorrow.

Even recreation has to fit between a predestined start and finish time, gone is the vast freedom youth and a lack of responsibility affords.

Of course, so much of this is pressure produced inside oneself. It is a response and a poor one at that. As a practitioner of mindfulness and a one time adherent of Taoism, I can sense this inexorable strangulation, the ratcheting up of pressure and expectation, but oddly, ironically, it takes time to break it down, time to breath slowly and stay in the here and now.

So, what to do, what to do….I will be honest, I have no answer. Perhaps I should stop filling the small gaps with needless things like clicking on social media. Perhaps I should learn to manage time better. Perhaps I should just suck it up buttercup, ’cause there are worse things.

Perhaps I should go ride my bike.

Who knows…